Anticlockwise
by Yawping Stance
Summary: ALL THE QUEEN'S MEN ONESHOT. Tony and Johnno are shaving when Johnno nicks himself. As Tony fixes him up, Johnno confesses a few things he didn't expect to... Johnno/Tony. COMPLETE. PLEASE REVIEW!


_Disclaimer: _Don't own. Don't claim to. Happy reading.

_Anticlockwise_

"So, clockwise, huh? _And _anticlockwise?"

"Like I said, no one cared what time it was." Tony smirked. "We were all too drunk to notice, anyways." Johnno smiled and drew the razor carefully up his shin.

"So how long were you and Paloma married?"

"8 years. I lived with Franz for five, two of which were during our quite painful divorce. Paloma and me, I mean." Johnno looked at him for a moment.

"Was it worth it, losing your wife?" Tony's own razor stopped mid-calf as he considered the question.

"Yeah, honestly. I don't think we were right for each other." He tapped the ash from the end of his cigarette into the tub and continued shaving. "I mean, kissing Paloma was a bit like kissing Kaiser Wilhelm, anyways." Johnno snickered.

"That bad?" Tony nodded.

"She had more of a mustache than _I _did."

"But she looked--"

"She bleaches."

"Oh."

"So there was that, and her constant nagging and trying to change me. I couldn't stand her!"

"Why did she try to change you? I mean, she wouldn't change you if she loved you, would she?" Tony smiled grimly at the boy's foolish optimism, even in the heart of a war.

"I guess she didn't," he said with a shrug. "I think we were deeply infatuated with each other, but never in love."

"_I _wouldn't try to change you." He glanced sidelong at Tony. "I think you're a good person as you are." They shaved in silence for a moment as Johnno struggled with a difficult spot on the curve of his knee.

"Well, like I said, she also got tired of having to share her clothes. I _told _her it cut the cost of shoes in half, but she would have none of it!" Johnno laughed, then breathed in sharply.

"OUCH!"

"Nick yerself?" Johnno bit his lip in pain and pressed his palm to his knee, but a wide, shallow stream of blood dribbled down his shin. "Here, sit down on the loo." Tony quickly wiped the remaining soap off his own leg with a towel while Johnno hobbled over to the toilet.

Tony set his cig down on the edge of the sink and ran the hand towel under the tap. He stumped across the bathroom floor on his knees to kneel in front of Johnno and gently dabbed at the trickling blood. He eventually got it all wiped up and pressed a clean part to the tiny, gushing nick. Gently, he took Johnno's soft hand, and heard a small, sharp intake of breath as he did so. Tony suppressed a knowing smile as he replaced his own hand with the one he held.

"Keep pressure on that." Tony took note that Johnno was avoiding his eyes. He rose and began searching through the medicine cabinet. "Anyone ever told you that you got killer legs?" Tony asked, not looking at his young friend. Johnno shifted uncomfortably.

"Um...no. Why? Do I?"

"Oh, definitely. Especially when they're shaved...And _not _bloody," he added.

"Uh, thanks, I guess." Tony nodded.

"Yeah. See, I've always firmly believed in finding something physically attractive--Dammit!" As he'd pushed aside one bottle, five others had fallen out into the sink. He started rearranging them. "--Something physically attractive about someone you care about, even if it's your sister, and telling them at least once a week. I mean, everyone likes being told they look good, yeah?"

"I s'pose..." Johnno said slowly.

"Well, as a bisexual lesbian in a man's body, I've no problem telling you that you've some very attractive legs. And that's the God's-honest truth." Another silence fell after Johnno mumbled an embarrassed thanks and turned inward for contemplation as Tony rummaged through a drawer. "Aha!" He produced after a few minutes a small black stick. Johnno looked at it warily.

"What's that?"

"Styptic pen. Salt and a few other chemicals; Cleans it out and gets the bleeding to stop."

Tony again got to his knees in front of Johnno, this time removing the cap of the styptic. He set the bloody hand towel down next to the toilet and took Johnno's hand again, but this time kept it and looked into the younger man's eyes.

"This'll sting." Johnno nodded, then clenched Tony's hand and bit his lip as the salt stick touched his cut. Tony tightened his grip in return, and held eye contact until Johnno could no longer resist squeezing his eyes shut in a painful grimace.

"Wasn't too terrible," Johnno grunted when it was over, opening his eyes again and wiping a tear away with his free hand. Tony smiled.

"Not at all, eh?" He tried to withdraw his hand, but Johnno kept hold and rested their clasped hands in his lap.

"Tony? You know what you said about telling someone you really care about what's attractive about them?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, I think you have very nice hands." Tony nodded.

"Thank you."

"And you have really pretty eyes and a rather tempting throat," he blurted. His thoughts were racing out through his mouth before he could stop them. "And...and...and...I think that I would really like to kiss you." He blinked in surprise at what he himself had just said.

"Johnno...love..." each pause was punctuated with a peck on the (shaven) shin or knee. "First of all, I'm glad you finally embraced your inner-clock...er...anticlock." Johnno smiled. "Second, after all this craziness, you'll find a better man than me...a more available man than me. But--" Here he gently kissed the younger soldier's bottom lip. There was a sharp intake of breath and tightening of grip from both parties. Then Tony broke away. "But I'm not the one for you, love. I'm to inconstant, too unfaithful for you. You need a good man to love you, to take care of you; _I_ am _not_ a good man."

"But you--"

"Don't you _dare_ say I'm a good man, coz we both know I'm not." He stood up, and this time Johnno released his hand.

"But Tony?"

"Hmm?"

"I still don't think you've got a face like a fish, I don't care _what _those Germans said." Tony smiled as he handed Johnno his razor.

Fin


End file.
